Response to "Meow" by Cary Bayless

“Meow” by Cary Bayless is a heartbreaking, yet heartwarming story about a young man named Cyril who is likely autistic, and his encounters with pretty girls and with some folks at Captain D’s he considers his friends. Although the character might not be changed at the end of the story, he has definitely arrived on the hopeful end of a realization, the realization that nothing was wrong with Jimmy-Cat, but that Jimmy-Cat is actually a she-cat, that she was pregnant, and had kittens. He views the world with a simplicity that many people are unable to comprehend—particularly the young women in the story, Annie and Kelly. Although he feels like he shouldn’t be sneaking into this girl’s bedroom and reading her diary, he is unable to comprehend why it is so unacceptable, and for this, the girls call him a “creep.”

            I love the first-person perspective Cary tells this story in because it gives us a really powerful view from the mind of the autistic narrator. The descriptions from his point of view are great, particularly the foul smells emanating from the dumpster, the counting sequences, ketchup and mayonnaise and “Jimmy-Cat eating monsters,” as well as Cyril’s detached descriptions of his own feelings about the things that are happening. The other characters, Earl and Annie, are developed through small segments of dialogue that is very effective in making the characters believable, even if the story isn’t about them.

            I’m not sure it’s enough for Cyril to simply go from fear for the cat to joy when he realizes it has had kittens. While everything in the story is believable and works in its place, I feel like something is missing from the story; I’m just not sure what. I think we need to see Cyril more frustrated when he is asked to leave Annie’s apartment, and maybe you could use this internal conflict to show the frustration he’s feeling about his inability to connect to these girls. You could carry that over to his encounter with Earl, maybe having a scene where Earl is trying to figure out why Cyril seems upset. I’d like to see Cyril really learn something, if that’s possible. Also, I think you should change the title: maybe “Fourteen steps” or even just “Cyril.”